18 years ago tonight

I was sitting in a cafe in Paris, no doubt very sophisticatedly (it's a word--I made it up) sipping on a Kronenberg 1664 biere, enjoying all the festivities of Fetes d'Ete while listening to an enormous amount of street musicians playing. Each corner was littered with a different act, all sharing their gifts (or what they supposed were gifts) with the pedestrians of Paris. I remember it like yesterday. It was a Sunday. Joy and I woke up at the deVilleneuve's and decided our plan for the free day. We were going to Musee Rodin as soon as it opened--it was just a short walk down from our apartement and we were ready for some sculpture. We had spent the previous day at Centre Pompidou and were in desperate need of some traditional art. When we arrived at Musee Rodin, (after perusing the fruites and vegetables at the farmer's market just down the way) the back garden was absolutely magical. No other word for it. There was greenery hanging from the tops of the tent, and an enormous centerpiece of gorgeous lilac flowers. A harpsichord concert was happening, in honor of Fete d'Ete and it seemed like a glorious little gift, just for us. We, as typical Americans, didn't know that the first day of summer was ushered in with song throughout the magnificent Paris. I'm glad we didn't know--I think the surprise made it all the more magical.

I didn't know 18 years ago that someday I would be married and living in Lufkin,Texas with two absolutely precious little blondies for children. I didn't even know that Kevin Langston existed. I didn't know that I would work part-time for an art museum, or that I would have ended up with two masters degrees from a state university I had never heard of in Nacogdoches (which I had also never heard of), Texas. I didn't know that I would be able to say I had taught students in grades 5 through freshmen in college about English literature and French, and I certainly didn't imagine that I'd be sitting at a laptop with a Bichon Frise at my side writing about this night 18 years later.

I did know, 18 years ago, that my baby sister was turning 7 years old on that very day and would be going into the 3rd grade. I did know that my parents loved me. I have always known that. I did know that God was working through me, and in me, and that I was coming to a better understanding of Him. I did know that the boyfriend I had at the time was NOT "the one," as I had secretly fallen crazy in love with a boy on my trip and, as a result, realized that my boyfriend back home was not what God had planned for my life. I did know that Joy Creel (now Liefeld) was NOT one of the "Triplets" a popular singing group back then, but she was one of my friends and one of the most grounded people of faith I had ever encountered. Also, she knew a heck of a lot more about art than I still know today.

I didn't know that a thing like the Internet existed, although I was introduced to Minitel by my family in Lyon. I didn't know that people would be watching movies on DVDs, which had yet to be invented. I didn't know that people would have cell phones that went everywhere with them and were miniscule in size, as my "car phone" was in a rather large bag.

I didn't know that almost all of my "best friends" would be Christmas card correspondents almost 20 years later, and I sure didn't know that a thing called Facebook would bring us back together again virtually.

I had no clue at all that 17 years later, I would permanently lose my hearing in one ear. I didn't know that 18 years later, I would not have made a return trip to Paris, one of my favorite cities in the entire world.

I found myself in Paris. It's cliche, it's old, it's been said by many, but it is my truth. Wandering and meandering through all those streets, trying desperately to learn and speak a language that was almost completely foreign, spending hours talking and eating with a girl from Los Angeles and a girl from New York, spending more hours with a boy I was completely smitten with who had a girlfriend waiting back home, walking through countless galleries and being exposed to some of the world's finest art, some of the world's most beautiful cathedrals (just the thought of Sainte Chapelle and Chartres can almost bring tears to my eye), eating grapefruit ice cream in Lyon, having a memorable night at a French family's country estate filled with wine and liquers, learning that salade is the last course of a fine meal instead of a first--it all made sense. My reliance on God was essential, my faith that He had angels guarding and guiding my travels was certain. Paris changed who I was, and oh, how I long to go back and walk those streets again--on the night of Fetes d'ete--to relive some of the magic. . . .

Time to get serious

In 236 days, I will be attending my 20th high school reunion. I started working out last August to get a true head start of getting my body "perfect" a year in advance. Here I am, 5 1/2 months later and I haven't lost an ounce. Not one. Despite doing 6 a.m. workouts for months, sweating like crazy, burning 400 + calories each workout. So, at the beginning of February, I started rebelling. For the past two weeks, I haven't exercised. Have eaten crap! Have drunk Dr. Pepper. . .and now, I'm sick of it.
I think this binge was a good thing for me, actually. I am disgusted with myself--completely disgusted--and I think you have to get THERE for make serious changes in lifestyle and diet. So today, tonight, I publicly commit to the following:
For the next four weeks (Starting tomorrow, February 15), I will:

• exercise 5 times a week, burning a minimum of 400 calories per workout
• drink no liquid but WATER during the week--on weekends, I am allowed a total of four glasses of wine
• keep away from sugar (this will be super easy with the Girl Scout cookie order coming in last week--but my body is more important than cookies)
• try to make healthier eating choices
• try to eat every 3-4 hours

It may not make any difference, and if it doesn't, I'm getting my thyroid checked AGAIN! I'll keep you posted on the progress . . . .

Ch ch ch ch ch changes . . . .

So many changes at once can't be good for the soul, but I am trying to hang in there. Of course, the obvious change is that school has started once again this year. I am now the mother to a 2nd grader and a 4 year old. I find that so very hard to believe!

With the school year finally under way, I decided that it was time to work on this old body once again. So, on Tuesday morning, my dutiful workout buddy (and former Miss Texas), Tara, and I decided to take on Elvis. Elvis has a reputation in Lufkin. A reputation for nearing killing you, but for getting unbelievable results. As a former NFL player, he knows how much a body can take, and he seems content to push his clients to the absolute limit. Our first day with him, we did 100 lunges with a bar across our shoulders, 100 squats, boxing, and then two ab exercises for, oh, 100 reps. Honest to God, I have NOT been able to get in and out of a chair, get in and out of bed, get in and out of my car, get in and out of the tub (where I've been trying to soak with Epsom salts), get up the stairs, etc. since Tuesday morning. I have NEVER been in so much pain. Ever. And I've tried a lot of trainers and techniques through the years. We returned this morning, and he decided to work upper body, since we were limping into the gym (seriously). So, we did 20 reps on a 5 circuit training regimen the first time through--then 30 reps the second time through. After that? More boxing. We did figure something out this morning, tho . . . there is a REAL difference if you are a left handed person trying to box like a right handed person. I was having the worst time--no coordination, no movement, no nothing. I was the whitest of white girls. Finally, I said, "Well, I've always been a little different--being left handed and all" "What? You're left handed? Why didn't you say so?" "Why didn't you ask?" Once I got the "stance" right, I was a boxing machine. Watch out, Lufkin--Miss Texas and I are coming for you! Of course, I probably won't be able to grocery shop for a month . . . .Oh! And I forgot to mention--I am now the proud owner of blue 16 oz. Everlast boxing gloves and black Century wraps. Who would have thought that the future President of the Junior League would get her jollies from beating the crap out of some little pads???

One of the most difficult changes for me emotionally has been my 2nd grader's new do. We went last Friday to get it cut, and my angel looked like this on the first day of school:

Here he is with his sister (who was so thrilled to have been awakened to bring brother to school)

He had complained all weekend long that he wanted his hair cut short. On Friday, he told his stylist to cut it short and I gave that the red light. After hearing him complain and complain and complain some more, I gave in. So, on Tuesday afterschool, my precious boy with the thickest, most gorgeous blonde hair in the world transformed from looking like the child who came out of my womb to this:

Here's a picture of the top, just in case you can't tell that my son is BALD now:

He came out of the WOMB with more blonde hair than this, people. It is just KILLING me!

Other changes: fall baseball for the first time, soccer for my daughter for the first time, my husband in school (and having study groups meet twice weekly online), and many, many more. I'll post more very soon--am going to need this as an outlet if I plan to survive the next two years!

A night alone . . .

Has it really been almost four months since an update? Seriously?? Where have I been?

1. Dealing with an addiction to Facebook. I think I'm in the rehab phase as I can now go for a couple of days without a hit. For a while there, it was touch and go. I was spending FAR too much time catching up with people I haven't talked to in, oh, anywhere from 14 to 18 years. What a trip and a delight to find out about the people they are becoming. I think that's why I was so unfaithful to the blog, but it also could have been . . .

2. At Synergy Fitness Boot Camp from 5:30-6:15 Monday -Friday. Today ended week six. I ran two miles this morning in 44 degree weather. Because I chose to do it. Because I was expected to do it. Because I've never done it before in my life. Because I had an I-Pod attached to my arm. Because I need to get in shape. We are running a 5K two Fridays from today. And you know what, for the first time in my life, I think I might actually be able to do it. Is that crazy? For the past six weeks, I have been writing down everything that goes into my mouth, how many calories it contains, how many carbs it contains, how much protein it contains, and how much fat it contains. Then, at the end of the day, I calculate the totals. I am also recording my heart rate, time spent exercising, time in zone, and calories burned EVERY DAY, my friends. Has it made me think before I put something in my mouth? Oh yea . . .

Although I haven't lost but one pound, as of last Friday, I had lost 1.6 points of body fat, which is a much needed thing. In January, I'm signing up for the 6:15-7:00 a.m. Boot Camp because, quite frankly, I am losing my mind running on no sleep. I cannot make myself wind down before 10 on any given night and I have to get up at 4:55 to get dressed, fed and to the Red Barn by 5:30. The other benefit to the 6:15 class? No nutritional journal. PRAISE GOD! And Fridays off, too. Although I'm still going to run on Fridays and go to Spin on Saturdays because it's become a habit and it doesn't need to be broken.

3. Standing in awe watching my brain adjust to deafness. It is INSANE how good God can be. In four and a half months, I have learned how to tolerate noisy/loud restaurants and settings, I have learned to be comfortable looking at total strangers and saying, "I'm sorry. Can you repeat yourself? I'm deaf in my left ear," my children have learned that if they really want my attention they need to approach me from the right, and I am still able to know fully and confidently that God is totally in charge here and this has happened for a reason. Also, the TransEar has come out with a new and improved model--the 380 H-F, "a major breakthrough in bone conduction technology." Although I have to wait until January to ensure that I'm really deaf for the rest of forever and God isn't going to show off with a miracle, I love the TransEar option. It's much better for my needs (and my stomach--I get literally nauseated just thinking about the BAHA--which stands for Bone Anchored Hearing Assistant). Here is what a BAHA implant looks like inside your brain (the white part is your skull--yes, your skull bone--they remove the hair follicles around the area permanently--about the size of a quarter--and if you have a weak stomach, stop reading and looking HERE!!):

Here is what the outside of your head looks like after they have inserted the titanium screw into your skull (I was told the screw would be above my ear):

And this is what the processor looks like when it's attached to the screw:

Here's a picture of the whole BAHA system:

I kind of wish I wasn't such a wuss, but my doctor in Houston said that he believes research is 5-10 years away from regenerating nerves with stem cells. And, the Transear will give me hearing. Maybe. It looks like this on a person and on a table (and this is not the new and improved sports car version):

So--now you know what options I've been exploring--or I can just spend the rest of my life saying, "huh??" No thank you!

4. Chasing after my two precious young'uns. They are both LOVING school and have the best teachers in the entire world--such a blessing for us. After creating two spelling tests of his own words (because hers weren't "hard" enough), Luke is now the recipient of his own personal spelling list at school. And his own personal spelling test. Because his teacher, "doesn't want him to be mad at me for not challenging him!" He's reading like a crazy man--loves non-fiction most of all. He also had his bottom two teeth pulled because the permanent ones were coming in behind--crazy! I swear the root of one of the teeth had to have gone to the child's chin. It was the nastiest thing I've ever seen. My favorite story from his school year involves a podcast. His teacher created one asking the kiddos, "What would you do if you were president?" on Election Day. My precious baby's response? "I woud stop all the hunters from shooting and killing animals." That's my boy! And he's growing up in the heart of killin country--I'm so proud!

Sistah is enjoying her school so much. According to her teacher, everyone just adores her and she is friends with everyone she meets. Of course, that's my dream for her life. Her little personality is really coming out and she it just a HOOT! What a blessing my babies are.

5. Looking at bridesmaid dresses and listening to my mom talk about my sister's amazing wedding. It is going to be an incredible event. My entire family is in the wedding party (husband and both kiddos). Baby girl and I are headed to Chicago in a couple of weekends (party time for the boys) to try on bridesmaid and flower girl dresses. I. can't. wait!

6. Working diligently on my Christmas card. It's going to be fabulous again! I LOVE Snapfish and their collage option--make my days happy! I'll be back much sooner with (hopefully) a much more interesting post!

What ELSE has been happening in my life . . .

Enough about the hearing situation . . . super quick update and then info about what ELSE has happened in my life since the 7th of July! I was able to talk to a friend of a friend of Nancy Chandler's in Dallas who went through this last year. She hooked me up with the email of the nation's top doc in SSNHL, Dr. Jeffrey P. Harris in San Diego. Figuring he would never email back, I took a shot at it anyway . . . and. . . he emailed me back in 10 minutes! Then we corresponded back and forth several times. . . he is AMAZING! He wanted me to go to a guy in Houston who is out of town on vacation, but they got me in with another doc in the same clinic. So, I have now moved from my fabulous, wonderful, delightful, Dr. Fred Owens: to this hunk of a doc, Dr. Robert Williamson:

who also happens to be one heck of a physician. He started me on Prednisone for 3 weeks (woo hoo!) and a diuretic with it, in addition to all the Dr. Owens Niacin 3x day, Lipoflavonoids 2x day, C-Histamine 2x day, Benadryl, and no caffeine, low-sodium diet. Still praying something will work--if not, Dr. Williamson has let me know about several hearing options I have. Could I be more blessed to have an audiologist in the family?? Regardless of the outcome of all this, I will still be able to hear, with or without assistance, and that itself is a HUGE blessing!

Okay--I'm going to start with the most recent and work my way back, because it's easiest for me mentally . . .football season is coming upon us and my little guy has decided that he HAS to play football this fall. And, of course, at age 7, that means FULL TACKLE football. He and Dad went out and started practicing last night. . . .look at these guys . . . .

And have I mentioned lately that my husband has the BEST legs in the world?? Whew--I can't keep looking . . .must. get. cold.water. Of course, during "half-time," our little guy did what every good football player does . . .he read a Time-Life book about "Living Wonders: The Marvels of the Earth." He is just something else, I tell you . . . such diverse interests!

Last Friday, July 25, my precious baby girl decided to use scissors for something other than she had been instructed to do . . . lecture after lecture after lecture about scissors are for paper only resulted in this:
And no, I haven't told my sister or mom yet--I'm thinking it will be better for them just to see it for themselves when we go to Chicago next Tuesday . . . but won't that be cute for the wedding on May 30th?? At least she cut the groom's side view and left the bride's side aisle view for cuteness . . . .of course, she'll have to stand with the groomsmen during the ceremony if my sister wants her standing during the ceremony! I'm thinking that her love affair with my gag-gift-birthday present of the pink "Foxy" hat might actually be an okay thing . . . .
Izzy continues to grow more and more adorable every single day. I don't think God could have created a more perfect Bichon. She is LOVE, LOVE, LOVE! Even my vet recommended that we breed her--everytime she goes for grooming, the groomers all freak out at how adorable she is, and she is so CALM compared to Belle, our crazy last little pup. She's a little dream--could she BE any cuter??? Last week while I was driving, we witnessed the most perfect clouds I have seen in a while, and of course, I grabbed my camera and started snapping without looking through the viewfinder (I was driving, people!), hoping to capture a little bit of what my eyes were seeing--amazing! On July 22, the most precious friend in the world, Stephanie Oliver, hosted a little surprise shindig for me at the Museum of East Texas. Samie Montes helped with decorations, as did Michelle Combs (who created the centerpieces by spray painting tree branches--these people are too talented for me, I tell you), and everyone brought something yummy to eat. And please look at this cake! Mom and Dad sent the flowers . . .I am beyond blessed to have such incredible people in my life--they make me feel so very special and I will never deserve them! This birthday party came after a weekend at the beach with the girls that was just phenomenal. If you ever go to Galveston, Texas, you need to stay at Pointe West. It is the most beautiful I have ever seen Galveston--truly--they actually had blue ocean water and sand that you could walk on--a sand bar that stretched for miles, three pools, a lazy river, workout room--it's incredible! What a great wy to feel wonderful about turning 36!

The week before my beach getaway was spent in Dallas with family and friends. After a fun day with Aunt KK on Tuesday, we spent Wednesday, Wednesday night, and Thursday morning with the Nutting crew, who are truly like family to us. The kids HAD A BALL and the Nutting's new (enormous) house was just beautiful. Alison is a once in a lifetime friend--they had flown in from a two-week trip to Savannah the day before, yet she still opened her doors wide and embraced us. As you can see, the kids didn't have fun at all . . . .

Okay, a few more pics--while Kevin was in Ireland for 10 days (I didn't mention that until he was home safe and sound--never know who is reading this!), this is what our bed looked like:

(And yes, I did squirm in there after taking this picture)

And here are the final pics: my ballerina swimmer and Star Wars fan--I LOVE MY BABIES!!!

Good Thoughts from Max Lucado

His Wing Shelters You
by Max Lucado

“He will shield you with his wings. He will shelter you with his feathers.” (Psalm 91:4)
My college friends and I barely escaped a West Texas storm before it pummeled the park where we were spending a Saturday afternoon. As we were leaving, my buddy brought the car to a sudden stop and gestured to a tender sight on the ground. A mother bird sat exposed to the rain, her wing extended over her baby who had fallen out of the nest. The fierce storm prohibited her from returning to the tree, so she covered her child until the wind passed.
From how many winds is God protecting you? His wing, at this moment, shields you. A slanderous critic heading toward your desk is interrupted by a phone call. A burglar en route to your house has a flat tire. A drunk driver runs out of gas before your car passes his. God, your guardian, protects you from
“every trap” (Ps. 91:3);“the fatal plague” (Ps. 91:3);“the plague that stalks in darkness” (Ps. 91:6);“the terrors of the night…the dangers of the day” (Ps. 91:5). One translation boldly promises: “Nothing bad will happen to you” (Ps. 91:10 NCV).
“Then why does it?” someone erupts. “Explain my job transfer. Or the bum who called himself my dad. Or the death of our child.” If God is our guardian, why do bad things happen to us?
Have they? Have bad things really happened to you? You and God may have different definitions for the word bad.
God views your life the way you view a movie after you’ve read the book. When something bad happens, you feel the air sucked out of the theater. Everyone else gasps at the crisis on the screen. Not you. Why? You’ve read the book. You know how the good guy gets out of the tight spot. God views your life with the same confidence. He’s not only read your story…he wrote it. His perspective is different, and his purpose is clear.
God uses struggles to toughen our spiritual skin.
Consider it a sheer gift, friends, when tests and challenges come at you from all sides. You know that under pressure, your faith-life is forced into the open and shows its true colors. So don’t try to get out of anything prematurely. Let it do its work so you become mature and well-developed, not deficient in any way. (James 1:2–4)
Trust him. “But when I am afraid, I put my trust in you” (Ps. 56:3). Join with Isaiah, who resolved, “I will trust in him and not be afraid” (Isa. 12:2).
God is directing your steps and delighting in every detail of your life (Ps. 37:23–24). In fact, that’s his car pulling over to the side of the road. That’s God opening the door. And that’s you climbing into the passenger seat.
There now, don’t you feel safer knowing he is in control?

Magic in Dallas!

Whew! My second shot is behind me--praise God! I received the shot at 2:40--so much for a 1:00 appointment today. So thankful that kids were with Aunt KK who is a wonderful, fun, and loving babysitter. They had a BLAST painting, swimming, and playing and I didn't have a moment's worry.

Funny story from the shot experience today--within 5 seconds of Dr. Owens putting it in my ear, my phone rang. I answered it immediately and it was my precious baby sister, Ashley. She said, "How are you?" I answered honestly, "Not so good--kind of dizzy and spinny right now. I'll balance out in the minute." (The first minute after the shot throws you for A LOOP--like you've had about 30 cocktails in a 30 minute period--then it settles down.) After we talked about 45 seconds more, I told her that I was terribly uncomfortable beause they forgot to bring me a pillow and that I was going to call the front desk to have someone bring me a pillow for my one hour on the same side sit.

I immediately called the front desk and told them that I was a patient in a room and that they were going to have to bring a pillow if they wanted me conscious in an hour--my head was placed below my neck and it was not so very comfortable. They immediately came with a pillow. As this was going on, my precious sister called my mom, worried sick. She told mom that I wasn't feeling good and that I was dizzy and nauseated (Which I was the first minute after shot). So Mom, who was shopping in Chicago with a precious family friend, immediately sprang to action. She called 411, got Dr. Owens number, called their front desk, and told them to tend to me immediately! The nurses sprang to action and came running in the room, "Are you sick?? Are you puking?? Your mom just called and said you are feeling awful!" That Mom of mine, she can get things hopping, even from 1000+ miles away. Cracked me up!

The kids and I went to dinner at Asado's and it was Kid's Night--Mark the Magician was there and "Kids Eat Free!" Mark was a HUGE hit--made baby girl a flower balloon and baby boy a bow and two balloon arrows. The kids had a BLAST. We didn't make out on the kids eat free thing, as my children wanted only one thing for dinner: queso and tortillas. I'm raising them right, I tell you. Since we're on vacation, it was acceptable. We are excited for a fun and fantastic day tomorrow! Moved my Thursday appointment up to 10 a.m. to assure that I get the "luxury suite" room I had last Thursday (pillow included without call) and that we get on the road sooner than later! The prayers are working and I'm going to be hearing again soon--I just know it!